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Fun/Humour 趣闻

你患有空气过敏症吗?

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最近和朋友一起参加了一个健康座谈会,会中主讲人现场亲自下手炮制一个健康食品给每一位在座的听众品尝。食品中有香蕉和乳制品,对我来说这是最自然和最健康不过的食物,可是现场竟然有几位人士举手说他们对香蕉和乳制品过敏!

以前在大马,常听到有人对海鲜过敏(allergic to seafood),吃了全身发痒,可能是海鲜不干净所造成。来了纽西兰,才知道自己孤陋寡闻,这里的kiwis对食物过敏更上一层楼!哈!对花生,面筋,黄豆,鸡蛋,牛奶,猫,狗,样样过敏。吃蛋糕不能有蛋,吃面包不能有面筋,真的很难服侍!

公司里有几个人对花粉过敏,因而常常生病。听说他们有一次竟然向高层提议,要把公司外面几颗芬发花粉的树木给砍了!我在想,如果患了的是人类过敏症,是否也应该把大家给杀了?如果是生活过敏症,是否应该老早自行了断?!哈!

大千世界,真的无奇不有!

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副首相夫人是我的家庭医生!

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半年前,我的一篇部落文说到纽西兰医生的态度和专业,谈到我的家庭医生(family doctor)如何呵护着我的健康。不久前,不知道在怎样的情况之下,突然发现,我的家庭医生其实不是什么普通人!

在威灵顿这几年,有什么毛病,一直都是去看这位Dr Mary医生。这位医生谈吐文雅,态度认真,怎么知道她原来是纽西兰现任副首相的夫人。这位医生,她的丈夫成了纽西兰财政部长兼副首相,她还是那样的平易近人,低调的默默为社会服务,真的值得敬佩!

我想如果我还在吉隆坡,要那尊贵的大马副首相夫人给我看病,可能比太阳从西边起还难!

工作没有分贵贱,首相也好,扫地的也好,说白了也只是一份工作。要别人尊敬,不是摆起做官的架子就行了,相反的,应该放下身段,全心全意为民服务。英文有句话说得好“respect is earned, not given”,不过到底有几个人明白呢?

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去Eastbourne遊車河

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这已经是上个月的事了,那天日麗風和,我和太太俩趁着没事情做,开了部崭新的1.8公升Honda Civic轿车到Eastbourne那里遊車河。Eastbourne位于威灵顿港口对岸,开车去只需三十分钟。去Eastbourne一路崎岖,车必须绕着山脚一环一环的开去。车的左边是山,而右边是海,优美的风景,真是遊車河的好地点。Honda Civic

Honda Civic

Honda Civic

哈!其实这不是我们的车。我们只是试驾摆在Honda陈列室里的新车。可能车行最近不大好做吧,那天Honda销售员打了通电话给我,邀请我去免费试驾新车,还奉上四十元的汽油赠券以做酬劳,真的是听说未闻。刚巧那个周末我们也闲着,就当做去遊車河咯!

我们现在还是开着两年前买的二手Honda Civic。Honda车真的很可靠耐用,这两年来都没有什么问题。八年的车还老当益壮,暂时没有换车的打算。Honda这次找错人咯! :-)

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用一千万换你一生的清白和安定,你肯吗?

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最近纽西兰闹了一个乌龙案,一个汽油站的老板向一间银行申请十千块钱的Overdraft透支,银行的员工非常大意的把十千块钱输入成一千万!这名汽油站老板知道之后,马上把汇钱去海外,然后漏夜逃回去中国大陆。这件事情发生后,我的同事们都议论纷纷,我的上司还有趣的问我,如果换成是我,会不会也逃亡海外,他说每个人都有不同底线,值不值得就见仁见智。

这位亚籍汽油站老板,不知是否汽油站生意难做,借着这笔横财的机缘,趁机放弃这里的一切,拿了钱回大陆重新开始新生活。其实无论他到底打的是什么算盘,我认为他为了贪这笔不义之财,把自己一生的清白都断送了。下辈子花着别人的钱,难道可以花的心安理得吗?好好的一个生意人,一夜之间变成逃犯,值得吗?就算是生意失败,大不了宣布破产,几年后可能又是一条龙!

再说这位汽油站老板,并非顺利取得一千万,当他汇钱的时候,银行及时的截住620万,他其实才拿到手的只是380万纽币而已。而他在纽西兰价值百万的汽油站,全部给纽西兰政府扣留查封。我看他那380万,七扣八折之下,实际到手的钱可能不是很多!

听最新消息,纽西兰已经透过中国警察正在追捕这名逃犯。

君子爱财,取之有道,何必铤而走险,拿着别人的钱提心吊胆的过下半生。

朋友,如果换成是你,银行户口突然多了一千万,会不会也上演一场Fugitive大逃忙?!

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每通电话一万元!

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在公司里,白人同事很喜欢传一些“有趣”的垃圾邮件。通常我都会看了之后顺手删除,我从来不做“转播站”。几天前,坐在我隔壁的那一位洋妞闲来无事,转发了一封有关纽西兰的笑话。我觉得非常有趣,拿来这里与本部落的朋友分享一番!

本来想把这笑话翻译成中文,可是怕翻译後会破坏这笑话的原味,尤其是末端那句对白,非得用英语来说才好笑,所以还是把原文发布在这里吧!

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to  Orlando  , thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA  from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read
‘$10,000 per call’.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in  Atlanta  . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in  Orlando  and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

‘O.K., thank you,’ said the American .

He then travelled all across America , Europe, England , Japan ,  Australia ,

In every church he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same ‘$US10,000 per call’ sign under it.

The American decided to travel to  New Zealand to see if Kiwis had the same phone.

He arrived in Wellington  and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone,

But this time the sign under it read ’40 cents per call.’

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.  ‘Father, I’ve travelled all over the world and I’ve seen this same Golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?’

The priest smiled and answered, ‘You’re in New Zealand now, son – it’s a local call’.

这就对了!尽情的开怀大笑吧! :lol:

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